The Panel: Bryce, Sean, Candy Ocho, Anatol Rosenberg and Greg.
The Debate: Candy and I argued that height differential make-outs are uncomfortable. Sean and Bryce argued that it was hot. Candy pointed out that kissing taller people makes you think of your parents, which is weird. Sean says that may play upon subconscious Oedipal issues. Bryce argued that there's a fun novelty to making out with someone of a different height. Bryce acknowledges that it's a matter of degree, there are some differences that are too great.
Sean points out that the physical aspects of kissing is secondary to the psychological feeling of making out with people that represent figures bigger and smaller in life, like young people and authority figures. I respond by saying that the physical aspect is still important and that the physical problems that may arise distract from appreciating any psychological benefits from kissing a taller or shorter woman.
I discussed a fantasy I had as a kid about the Fifty Foot Woman, who I found attractive despite the physical impossibility of any intimacy between us. I feel this is the underlying issue in height differential make-outs: there's something attractive about these differences but the actual hook-up would be awkward because of the very thing that may have attracted you.
In the end, everyone seemed to want someone a few inches around their own height. Everyone wanted taller except me, who was fine with shorter, but not by much.
Midgets: So people find midgets attractive, taboo as it may be to say. Bryce and Candy were the only people who said they would make out with a midget with the proviso that they were attracted, which Sean points out is sort of circular. Anatol suggested he would, but he seemed to be kidding.
Bryce pointed out that people would only make out with midgets for the story, which is actually incredibly sad. We then said that there are lots of things we would do for a great story, including making out with a wheelchair person, difficult as that may be. We determined only by sitting down could such a make-out work. Ultimately, Bryce and Greg decided 4'2" was the minimum height for a make-out partner, but ultimately because of the possibility for stand-up fellatio.
How-to: Cowboy Will gives some tips on reducing awkwardness for mixed-height make-outs.
- Better to be taller than someone than to bend town to accommodate them. It's uncomfortable and awkward and not suave.
- Avoid standing situations, try to lie down.
- Laugh off the inevitable awkwardness. Avoid apologizing or pointing out the weird things.
- Don't touch and caress as much since this will highlight the height difference.